I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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