your parents love me but you hate me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
