Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize