Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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