so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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