we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
