you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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