Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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