then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize