there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
