Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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