Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize