In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
