It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
