I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
