I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
