Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize