We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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