I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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