so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
