Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
