He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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