I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
