He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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