like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
