If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize