white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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