He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
