All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
