I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
