She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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