It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
