i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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