Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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