big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
