Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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