i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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