I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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