I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
