do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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