dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
