I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just pee around me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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