What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
