Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
