Everything about him screamed your future.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
