Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
