your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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