okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
