That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
