if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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