he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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