is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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