It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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