ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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