You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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