I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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