Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
