Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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