i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
