Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
