Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
