I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
