i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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